Not Chuck Norris Jokes ~ Regular One Line Zingers
I finally started eating healthier.
Now I feel worse emotionally AND physically.
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My attention span is so bad I started this coffee yesterday.
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I tried being productive today but my Wi-Fi sensed motivation and immediately went down.
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Every cooking recipe I've tried starts with
“simple and easy to make, with ingredients you already have ”
then suddenly I need saffron and eye of newt, harvested under a full moon.
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My bank account and my ambitions are no longer on speaking terms.
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I bought a planner to organize my life. Now I’m behind schedule in writing.
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Adulthood is just googling weird symptoms until you accidentally learn tax law.
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I exercise regularly. Mostly my right thumb scrolling.
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My phone battery lasts longer than my motivation.
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I cleaned my entire house just to avoid answering one email.
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The older I get, the more exciting it is when a package arrives containing something boring.
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I’m not saying I procrastinate, but my New Year’s resolution was from 2022.
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Technology is amazing. My toaster has settings more complicated than my childhood TV.
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