~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “When Mosquitoes see Chuck Norris, they start itching.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If you ever laughed at Chuck Norris wearing a Kilt, he'd of kilt you. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ When going to the dentist,Chuck Norris refuses to be 'numbed up'. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chuck Norris has assisted in open heart surgery... On himself. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chuck Norris can spell onomonopea ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Why has Chuck Norris never been challenged to a duel? Because no one would ever dare to b*tch slap Chuck Norris. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Fire ants can't look at Chuck Norris without bursting into flames. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 'Who's' on first, 'Whats' on second, 'I don't know' is on third, Chuck Norris is at home. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chuck Norris can sweat AND wear wool. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ To make it fair, Chuck Norris spots Michael Jordan 11 points in one on one.