Monday, January 20, 2014

No White Zinfandel for Me

Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's
personality based on what she drinks.Though interviewed separately,
they concurred on almost all counts. The results:

Drink: Beer
Personality: Causal, low-maintenance; down to earth.
Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

Drink: Blender Drinks
Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the ass.
Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabana boy.

Drink: Mixed Drinks
Personality: Older, more refined, high maintenance, has very picky
taste; knows EXACTLY what she wants.
Your Approach: You won't have to approach her. If she's interested,
she'll send YOU a drink

Drink: Wine (does not include White Zinfandel)
Personality: Conservative and classy; sophisticated yet giggles.
Your Approach: Tell her you love to travel and spend quiet evenings with

Drink: White Zinfandel
Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually, she
has NO clue.
Your Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is...this should be an
easy target.

Drink: Shots
Personality: Likes to hang with frat-boy pals and looking to get totally
drunk... and naked.
Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. You have been blessed. Nothing
to do but wait, however, be careful not to make her mad!

Drink: Tequila
No explanations required - everyone just KNOWS what happens there.
THEN, there is the MALE addendum ----
The deal with guys is, as always, very simple and clear cut:

Domestic Beer:
He's poor and wants to get laid.

Imported Beer:
He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

He is hoping that the wine will give him a sophisticated image to help
him get laid.

He doesn't give a damn about anything but getting laid.

He is thinking he has a chance with the toothless waitress.

White Zinfandel:
He's gay.  

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