It was mealtime during an airline flight To Canada.
'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.'What are my choices?' John asked.
'Yes or no,' she replied.
SMART ASS ANSWER #5A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate in Florida to
check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the
ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing
a beat, she said, 'Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.'
SMART ASS ANSWER #4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store inNew York but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She
asked a stock boy, ' Do these turkeys get any bigger?' The stock boy
replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead.'
SMART ASS ANSWER #3
The police officer in Montgomery got out of his car as the kid who wasstopped for speeding rolled down his window.
'I've been waiting for you all day,' the officer said. The kidreplied, Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.'
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
SMART ASS ANSWER #2A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and
noticed a sign that read:
Low Bridge Ahead. Before he knows i t, the bridge is right in front of him andhis truck gets wedged under it. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally a police
car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, putshis hands on his hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?'
The truck driver says, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of gas.'
SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2008 !!
An Alabama college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow'sfinal exam. 'Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you
not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attackor a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your
immediate family, but that's it, no other excuseswhatsoever!' A smart-ass student in the back of the room
raised his hand and asked, 'What would you say if tomorrow Isaid I was suffering from complete and utter sexual
exhaustion?' The entire class is reduced to laughter andsnickering when silence was restored, the teacher smiled
knowingly at the st udent, shook her head and sweetly said,'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.'
A BONUS EXTRAA woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel
horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.