An escaped convict breaks into a house to look for money and guns..
Inside, he finds couple in bed. He orders the guy out of the bed and ties him to a chair.
Whilst tying the home owner's wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up & goes into the bathroom.
Whilst the convict is out of the room, the husband whispers over to his wife, "Listen, this guy is an escaped convict:
Look at his clothes! He's probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain and do whatever he tells you.
Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you because this guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll probably kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!".
His wife responds, "He wasn't kissing my neck, he was whispering in my ear. He told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom.
Be strong honey. I love you too."