Friday, November 7, 2008

Grandma in Court

Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if theyaren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grand motherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you , Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot whenyou haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything morethan a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointedacross the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since hewas a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem.He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practiceis one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on hiswife with three different women. One of them was your wife.Yes, I know him."

The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both counselorsto approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either ofyou f**___**g idiots asks her if she knows me, I' ll send you to theelectric chair."

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